Lactose

Very few things capture my heart and imagination like baseball does. Today, I'd like to talk about something in the game I don't understand.

Why is the fastball so often associated with cheese? Some of you might be scratching your heads right now, but let me refresh your memory with some terminology:

Actual terms used to define a fastball:

Cheese - A straight, 4 seam fastball
Cheddar - A 2 seam fastball with downward action
Spicy Cheddar - A 2 seam fastball that runs in or out
Stinkin' Cheddar - Any fastball thrown outside the strikezone
High Stinkin' Cheddar - A fastball purposely thrown above the shoulders, in order to entice a hitter to chase it

The fastball also has some fun nicknames:

The Roquefort Rocket
The Brie Bullet
The Parmesian Pellet
The Camemberg Cannon
The Feta Fireball
The Mozzarella Missle
The Gouda Gun

What is so interesting about cheese that the most common pitch in baseball is associated with it? I have never understood this relationship, which is not to say I have never used these terms. If you step back and think about it momentarily however, it is rather amusing. Imagine yourself watching a baseball game for the first time, and someone next to you shouts, "Throw him the high stinkin' cheddar!" The TV announcer might say something like, "Boy, that last pitch was some nasty cheese."

Ah, the nuances of baseball. They will soon be with us once again...