The Mind Killer

Of all the things in life that can motivate a person, fear is perhaps the most effective. The most amazing thing about fear, is that it motivates you to do nothing.

I'm not talking about the acute fear of being immediately, physically threatened. That kind of fear is fleeting, and clearly motivates almost anyone to quick action. I'm refering to a much more subtle, insidious condition of constant, paralyzing fear. The kind of raw emotion that makes even getting out of bed in the morning difficult. Everyone, at one point or another in their life, has faced this fear.

It would be wonderfull if we could snap our fingers and banish all of our terrors. Unfortunately, this problem is much too deep and complicated for a simple fix. Perhaps the most difficult part is defining the true issue at hand. Perhaps fear is not, in and of itself, the problem.

Every human being has fear, and anyone who tells you they have no fear is just afraid that you might think they are weak. Fear is a natural emotion, a useful barometer of our limits, and sometimes it can even be a fun rush. Fortunately, the good Lord gave us a tool against fear: Courage. Let us be clear on this much: Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the ability to act in the face of fear. I imagine we all wish we could be more courageous people. I wonder, however, if we have it within us to grant ourselves that wish...

I suspect that courage, or lack thereof, is the simple result of attitude. Perhaps even a conscious choice. A person in fear has two basic options: they can choose to succumb to that fear and be a coward, or they can choose to be courageous and fight their fear head on. A person can take the attitude that says, "It's too hard to try," or a person can take the attitude that says, "I'll never give up."

Which person are you?

Quote Of The Week

"In life we don't get what we want, we get in life what we are. If we want more we have to be able to be more, in order to be more you have to face rejection." - Farrah Gray

From the Airwaves

The other day at JFK we landed right behind Pakistani flight 711. That's right, the flight from Pakistan to New York, on Pakistani Airlines, is number 711. I don't care who you are, that's just funny.

A Roof Over My Head

When I set out to find a condo to purchase everyone told me it would be so much fun, and so exciting! What a crock of shit.

Buying real estate is a stressfull, complicated experience, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. There are 8 million different places to look at. 10 million different loan options. Interest rates, downpayments, percentages, amenities, appliances, etc, etc, etc. It's not exciting, it's nailbiting. It's not fun, it's more like torture.

Making decisions that will affect your entire lifestyle, financial security, and general state of mind for the better part of a decade is starting to stress me out... Can you tell?

Quote of the Week

"A grandfather was walking through his yard when he heard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in a tone of voice that sounded like a prayer. He asked her what she was doing. The little girl explained: 'I'm praying, but I can't think of exactly the right words, so I'm just saying all the letters, and God will put them together for me, because he knows what I'm thinking.'" - Charles B. Vaughan

Momma's Got a Brand New Bag

There is an interesting social dynamic that occurs quite often between two people who used to date each other. Invariably, one or the other person will find a new mate, and very often, this will cause great consternation to the person who is still single. I am terribly confused by this reaction on the part of the still single individual.

I bring this up because I recently found out my most recent ex has kindled a new flame. The circumstances surrounding our parting some 6 months ago are superfluous to this musing, so I'll spare you the details. All you really need to know is this: The sum of her shortcomings is not equal to the sum of her talents, and even so, she is not the one for me. She is, however, deserving of a quality of life that has so far been denied her for various reasons. When she told me of her freshly inspired love life she was very cautious with what information she would divulge. It became clear after only a few moments of conversation that she fully expected me to either be angry or disheartened by this developement.

Here is why I am confused: It is terribly common for the person who decided upon ending a relationship to suddenly become jealous when another individual takes interest in his or her ex. There is a clear inconsistancy in this logic. If you broke up with someone, why would you care if that person has moved on? The fact that your ex has found a new love has not in any way changed any of the reasons you broke up with them. The addition of a significant other to your former significant other does not affect their personality or attractiveness in any way whatsoever. Why then, is it so often a difficult pill to swallow for the ex who is still treading water in the singles pool?

In some scenarios, I can understand the presence of resentment. An individual whose love is unrequitted will be understandably upset when their ex moves forward in a new relationship. However, the dumper never has the right to be upset when the dumpee moves on. You made your bed, now sleep in it.

There is always something positive, pure, and poetic about every relationship. No matter what the circumstances of the death of that relationship may be, nothing can take away the fact that two people shared something special between them if only for a short time. I suspect that pure selfishness motivates the often bitter precedings that follow a breakup. Think of the phrases so often used after a split occurs: "How can I live without you." "Who will take care of ME now?" "I don't want this to end." "Can't you see it MY way?" "Don't you love ME?" Perhaps we should all strive to face the end of our relationships in the same way we face the end of the life of someone we know. We remember the departed's shortcomings, celebrate their outstanding qualities, learn the lessons they leave us with, and above all else, hope that they will move on to better things.

Quote of the Week

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame no one but himself." - Louis L'Amour

Never Forget Your Roots

I sat next to a very attractive young blonde recently on my way to Chicago, and struck up a conversation with her. She was a very pleasant, well spoken conversationalist, and I was enjoying our talk until the following exchange took place:

her - "So how were your holidays?"

me - "Well, I worked all of the holidays."

her - "Do you always work holidays?"

me - "I worked all the important ones this year: Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years."

her - "Easter? Are you a Christian?"

me - "Yeah, I'm Catholic."

her - "Catholic? That's not Christian. Don't you worship the Pope and Saints?"

Rather than try to assuage her ignorance I simply unbuckled my seatbelt and moved to a different seat on board the aircraft. Unfortunately, after having had nearly this same discussion with several different Protestants, I no longer have the energy to challenge her reply with the facts of Catholic teaching.

It confuses me that so many Protestants have such a disdain and hatred for the Catholic Church despite the fact that every single Christian Religion on Earth is somehow or another rooted in Catholicism. Truth be told, of the 2000+ year history of Christianity, Protestants have only existed for about 500 years. Despite this fact, so many of them take far too much pleasure in condemning Catholics. In my experience, the great majority of their malice towards the Catholic Church is rooted either in arrogance, or ignorance, two words that too often go hand in hand.

Protestants refer to their movement in the early 1500's as the "Protestant Reformation." Catholics refer to the event more accurately as the "Protestant Revolution." I say more accurately, because at its core the revolution was mostly a political event marked by many rich midevil lords revolting against Papal taxes and indulgences. One must remember that the Catholic Church of the period was a powerful and currupt political machine, and therein lay the seeds of the Protestant Revolution to a far greater extent than any dogmatic difference of opinion. The movement gathered strength as more and more land-owning nobles seperated from the Catholic Church in order to avoid paying taxes to Rome. The teachings of Martin Luther and others like him would merely be historical footnotes were it not for the politicaly motivated support they received from powerful individuals interested entirely in personal and financial gain.

The end result of these bitter precedings from 5 centuries ago is that too many people who call themselves Christians carry themselves with a remarkably aloof attitude. Too many factions of what was once a unified faith have taken it upon themselves to refer to themselves as the only path to salvation. Too many hypocrites run around asking truly faithful people if they have been, "Saved." Too many people are too quick to cast judgement because of a 500 year old feud during which it was fashionable to hate and mock the Catholic Church.

Not enough people remember where they truely came from.

Quote of the Week

"Religion is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions." - Anonymous

What Is, Was, and Will Be

Many people try to look back at the year that was right around New Years. Personaly, I like to wait until the year is over, take a few days to decompress after working the holidays (as usual) and then take stock.

2006 was a great year:

Congrats to Russ and Staci, and Ron and Christine! Here's to happily ever after!

Congrats to the St. Louis Cardinals! WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

Congrats to my employer! It must be nice to make money for a change...

Congrats to the St. Louis Swingers! FALL SOFTBALL CHAMPIONS!!!!!


2006 had its lows like any other year:

Tailwinds to the crew and passengers of Comair 5191

Tailwinds to Scotty, we miss you in the crew room

Still no sign of my future wife...


Some of you may remember (and the rest of you can look back and see) that last year I set but one professional goal for myself. That goal was to be hired by Continental Airlines. As the clock stroked midnight and ushered 2007 into the present, I was somewhere over northern Michigan headed for Marquette in my Eagle EMB-145. Apparently God had other ideas for me...

As for 2007, it has already been a busy year. So far I've been junior manned, been to Dallas for GPS training and a checkride, and found out that Rob has an interview. I hope the rest of the year doesn't race by at the same breakneck pace the first few days have established...

Quote of the Week

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities." - William Arthur Ward

The Truth Hurts

Good friends are hard to find, and sometimes even harder to define. Therein lies the rub. One can go for quite a long time before discovering the truth about one or more of their "good" friends.

In the most basic of terms, and at the risk of using a cliche, good friends are always there for you. It is an interesting and selfless phenomenon to see someone drop whatever priority they may have in order to tend to the needs of their friend (not their relative, mind you). Friendship, after all, is mostly about your friend, and not so much about you. Perhaps the most perplexing part of this dynamic is the fact that, "Being there," doesn't necessarily imply some great need on your friend's part. Usually, "Being there," is mostly about the little things. In fact, almost all of the time, it's the little things that count the most. Everyone has those friends who are there for you when something tragic happens. Great tragedy is easy to see, and it pulls at the guilty conscience when ignored. Any friend can tell that you need a shoulder to cry on or a pat on the back during times like these, and it's easy to be there for someone when these things happen. The best of friends, however, are the ones who know when you need them despite the absence of tragedy. The tone of your voice, or the slightest change in your demeanor trigger them into action. It's much harder to be there for your friend during the mundane, trying times that hit each and every one of us each and every week. It's an investment of time, and perhaps resources, and it happens so often. Flowers and a hug when someone dies is easy. A calming presence and the reassurance that someone cares after a long day at work is much harder.

Unless someone reading this blog is remarkably lucky, all eyes that peruse these paragraphs will call to mind 1 or 2 good friends that are there for you not just when it's most needed, but also when it's most warranted and wanted. 1, perhaps 2, amongst all the friends that you know. That is why these friends are so dear to us.

That is also why it is so crushlingly dissappointing when someone you thought was such a good friend turns out to be terribly average.

All of us could use another good friend, but how many of us are willing to be a good friend?

It is a time for resolutions...