Sick Leave

I was looking forward to going to work today. Good trip, good crew. Alas, came down with a nasty virus or something. I feel like the fire hydrant at the dog park...

One Week

There is but one week till the start of Baseball Season. PLAY BALL!

Quote of the Week

"Air traffic controlers and pilots have a lot in common. If a pilot makes a mistake, the pilot dies. If an air traffic controler makes a mistake, the pilot dies." - Aviation Truism

A Battle of Wits Against the Unarmed

Our new enemy, Anonymous Junior, either doesn't keep up well enough with the blog, or simply lacks the mental capacity for thought progression. Otherwise, our dull-witted adversary would know that on several previous occassions I have addressed the topic of grits, the Affle House, and the South. If Anonymous Jr. truely believes the grits eaten at an Affle House in Cincinnatti are any different from grits eaten at an Affle House in Valdosta, GA, they are sorely mistaken. A Big Mac tastes the same in LA as it does in Times Square, so it is with Affle House grits.

Anonymous Junior, if you are incapable of keeping cerebral pace with my postings, please refrain from commenting.

Affle House

I ate an an Affle House in Cincinnatti the other day. I tasted grits. They were, without a doubt, some of the nastiest things I've ever eaten. I now know exactly what grits are. They are corn mush, soaked in butter. And they look like chunky snot.

How people in the south can eat this sort of food is beyond my ability to comprehend, but I'm sure the intellect necessary to enjoy grits is the same intellect that believes the Civil War was actually the "War of Northern Agression."

The south will never rise again as long as chunky snot is their signature dish.

Of all the Possibilities

If Anonymous II is Mark Green, I'll be pissed...

A New Threat?

Is there a new anonymous, or is the old anonymous too unoriginal to come up with new material? Whatever the case, we have a copycat on our hands. This is unacceptable...

Quote of the Week

"The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught." - H. L. Mencken

KP, As Himself

Ah, yes. Thank you Dolan, for bringing up the great KP, as himself. KP, born Kevin Piascik, was a buddy of ours in college. He was, for lack of a better word, a drunk. Rather that try to get him help, we just pointed at him and laughed. A lot. KP was a regular at all of our keg parties, and it took about half an hour for him to become intoxicated. Soon, he wound up passed out in the corner, and it was always the same corner. This occured with such regularity that we named that particular part of the apartment, "KP's Corner." It was an otherwise non-descript patch of living room formed by the end of the entertainment center and the continuation of the wall. Completely unremarkable, unless of course, KP was occupying it. When I say occupying, I mean, he took up the WHOLE corner. You see, KP is a large man. I felt very sorry for Fish and Dolan on the nights they had to carry a very inebriated KP out of our apartment after a night of shananigans.

So the next time your raise your beer, think for a moment about KP's corner. KP, As Himself, This High Life's for you!

From the Airwaves

Heard on a windy day in Miami on the Tower frequency:

Controller - "American 1234 I thought I saw some trash blowing across the runway down there, can you see anything?"

American 1234 - "No sir, that was just an Airbus clearing the runway."

Wanted: Soccer Chics

The indoor team needs girls! If you, or someone you know has soccer experience and wants to play on Tuesday nights, let me know!

I Should Have Known

I knew from the very begining that Anonymous was a coward. I also knew from the very begining that Anonymous was very feminine. It should, therefore, have been plainly obvious that Scott was the pestering nuisance of this blog. The same Scott who refuses to fly if the wind is more than 5 degrees off the runway, or if a cloud has been sited within 100 miles of the airport. On one of the first occasions Scott and I flew together, he emerged from the airplane white with fear, his face a reflection of the snow that had obscured our vision and coated the runway. Thankfully, I was able to empart a portion of my considerable knowledge upon our gutless friend, who earned his instrument ticket after my work was done. Now, he can fly when the wind is 10 degrees off, and when the weather reports "few" clouds in the area.

The fact that I did not uncover this mystery sooner can only be attributed to mental block...

Quote of the Week

"Hope begins in the dark. The stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait, and watch, and work. You don't give up." - Anne Lamott

Quote of the Week

"Some women are good for you, and others are bad for you. The difference is indistinguishable to you." - Anonymous

And the Winner is...

Scott Stevelink