The Truth Hurts

Good friends are hard to find, and sometimes even harder to define. Therein lies the rub. One can go for quite a long time before discovering the truth about one or more of their "good" friends.

In the most basic of terms, and at the risk of using a cliche, good friends are always there for you. It is an interesting and selfless phenomenon to see someone drop whatever priority they may have in order to tend to the needs of their friend (not their relative, mind you). Friendship, after all, is mostly about your friend, and not so much about you. Perhaps the most perplexing part of this dynamic is the fact that, "Being there," doesn't necessarily imply some great need on your friend's part. Usually, "Being there," is mostly about the little things. In fact, almost all of the time, it's the little things that count the most. Everyone has those friends who are there for you when something tragic happens. Great tragedy is easy to see, and it pulls at the guilty conscience when ignored. Any friend can tell that you need a shoulder to cry on or a pat on the back during times like these, and it's easy to be there for someone when these things happen. The best of friends, however, are the ones who know when you need them despite the absence of tragedy. The tone of your voice, or the slightest change in your demeanor trigger them into action. It's much harder to be there for your friend during the mundane, trying times that hit each and every one of us each and every week. It's an investment of time, and perhaps resources, and it happens so often. Flowers and a hug when someone dies is easy. A calming presence and the reassurance that someone cares after a long day at work is much harder.

Unless someone reading this blog is remarkably lucky, all eyes that peruse these paragraphs will call to mind 1 or 2 good friends that are there for you not just when it's most needed, but also when it's most warranted and wanted. 1, perhaps 2, amongst all the friends that you know. That is why these friends are so dear to us.

That is also why it is so crushlingly dissappointing when someone you thought was such a good friend turns out to be terribly average.

All of us could use another good friend, but how many of us are willing to be a good friend?

It is a time for resolutions...