Listen to What I Mean, Not What I Say

There is a long posting on this blog from January 1st of 07 that I would like to revisit. Click on the following link and scroll to the bottom of the page featuring the posting titled "The Truth Hurts." http://redbirdaviator.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html

Now that we're on the same page, let me continue just a bit on that line of thought about our good friends. My first observation is that speaking is terribly easy, while doing is another matter entirely. Phrases like, "You're very important to me," and "I love you," are easily thrown about. Unfortunately, any prudent individual would not take these statements at face value. The famous cliche says that actions speak louder than words, and that is indeed the case. All the "I love you's" in the world don't make up for actions that clearly tell the other, more factual story. Let's keep in mind that these actions are rarely huge injustices. In order to truely understand how a person feels about you, you must pay close attention to detail. It's not in their speech, and it won't be posted on a billboard. Somewhere, between the lines, lies the truth. It hides amid basic courtesies that are not extended, subtle rudeness that can go undetected, and a general disregard for your priorities and commitments.

My second observation is this: No matter how badly you want it, or how hard you try, you will never change anything about your friends. It's not your job to create change in them. It's your job to accept the person they are. It's also your job to make sure you understand how they feel about you so you can make sure your expectations of them aren't too high.

Some very close friends are worthy of your highest expectations. Be carefull not to place those less worthy friends on the same level. It will lead you to dissappointment, and they probably won't care.

It is an unfortunate truth of the human condition that trust is not always requitted, and honesty is not always valued as highly as it should be.